i know its been a while because of christmas and getting settled in here so i thought i`d let you guys know this is the third blog I`ve written since i`ve been back in January in case this is the first time you`ve checked back or something.
Salomon was granted one thing by God and he chose wisdom. in the later part of his life he says that wisdom brings great sorrow. you can tell by his words throughout the book of Ecclesiastes that his heart is very heavy. the opposite to that statement validates it - ignorance is bliss. it doesn't mean ignorance is good. it doesn't mean ignorance will make you more safe and always happy, but you will dodge some amount of sorrow through it. i've been weighing the two options for some time wondering what it is i want. i wouldn't go so far as to say i used to be wise, but i certainly used to question and think through things more. i used to try and figure out how to contribute more than simply absorb. i relate so strongly with Salomon because even though there were a lot of good things surrounding my former self, it was immeasurably harder. think of a 15 year old youth kid in the church who just comes one night every week, plays games, goes through the motions, and then hangs out and has fun the rest of the night within that social network. then compare to one of the elders of that church who is dealing with a list of complications and troubles with either the people or the functions of the church. sure we need those people, but how much easier to be that naive little youth kid? he's accountable to so little.
maybe there is a balance. or maybe it just boils down to an individual thing. some people are stronger than others. so i'm still weighing it out. and it isn`t just faith. love is another perfect example for me. there are some real advantages of being single. you don`t have to answer to someone else, you can flirt or play the field however you please, you don`t have to worry about hurting someone near as much, and you can generally just be more selfish. there is a cost related to a committed relationship. you are accountable to them; you have to answer to them. there is fruit though in that commitment that you will never know or have being single. i mean, its the same as parenting or marriage too. setting myself up for any number of these things scares me but they scare me a bit less as time goes by. I`m sorting through more than one of those things, and i feel like the positive response and submission to one might lead to a gateway of the others. i think it will soften me up.
i'm gunna take a picture this weekend once our ice rink is freshly zambonied. its actually quite impressive. there are really effective lights for playing at night too. two guys here play a LOT of hockey. Nate and Coleson (one of the canadians) are real good. i was told today though by a group that besides those two i am easily the next best player here. its weird i skated twice playing pick up games about 2 years ago. before that i think i was probably 13 years old. when i was home at christmas i skated once on a public outdoor rink and thought `wow this is a lot more natural than i thought it might be`. so i was really excited to skate and play when i got back here. i love hockey. not only the sport (and being competent helps) but the intensive cardio it brings about. its hard to jog with all this snow so i`m gunna depend on skating this semester. actually i`m really excited to play goalie too. i haven`t done it here yet but i played once on ice a couple years ago and loved it.
tonite we`re driving to Denver as a group to watch a video premier showing. its a professional snowboard video but all the riders are Christians, so I`m pretty excited about that. somehow my body allows me with manageable pain to play hockey (because of my rib injury) so this afternoon i`m gunna try snowboarding. i`m sick of it holding me back. so unless the pain is intolerable, screw it i`m riding. i still can`t come close to a push up or sit up. those movements especially spark pain, but other things seem to not irritate it as much.
we`re workin through Ephesians now. also a neat book.
my group i`m going with to Mexico is incredible. great leaders too. because there are two separate groups going. the dates i`m gone are march 13th to 23rd. i emailed a tree planting dude today to hopefully get this plan some wheels. hopefully he hits me back with something good.
J.R. Whitfield
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