yesterdy was an early morning by choice. our room got up at 6:45, did an early workout session and whatever else. but then it occured to us somehow. we wanted to be GANGsters all day. we did just that. now, when i say gangsters its a lot more along the lines of white trash. most of us wearing beaters with ballin sunglasses, maybe headphones, definitly some bandana's goin on, sweatbands, pants that didnt' even touch our butts...you get the idea. we even found a couple of airsoft guns we stuck in our pants. aaaannndddd of course my watch with the tin foil grill to match. it was fun. once everyone outside our room realized that we deemed it gangster day, many followed suite.
i'm waayyy into 24. can't believe it happened but i did it. its real good.
most of you know perhaps, but another thing that happened yesterday was that my laptop broke. it got bumped off my desk by a student and won't start up. i'm having it looked at. major inconvenience though.
i was just starting to feel healthy again today. i was workin out, wasn't burdened by any serious injury, we got the rink back in shape so i was looking forward to hockey. that is up until this afternoon. I went snowboarding. We just went for a couple hours and it was going well at first. we were mostly riding parks. it was about 3:15 (mountain closes at 4) when we were in this one park were i threw a back 3 on the last booter. i slid out but had enough space to cut over to hit a rail at the bottom of the park. bad idea. i tried to tail press it but slipped off. the rail was high enough where my board didn't make contact with the ground during the fall, it was all me. i feel onto my hip/side. at first when i was sitting there i was sort of in shock, but i also realized i needed to get up. so i rode the rest of the way (not far) crouched down to the lift where 4 or 5 others were waiting. i told them that i had just bailed pretty hard and that i felt quite naseuas. i thought perhaps i was just shaken up and needed to sit. i was going to meet them at starbucks at 4 once it closed. i hobbled over to a bench by the lift after insisting they leave, but then things got wierder. my vision begun to fog over and everything became very very bright. i couldn't see anything but blobs representing people. i couldn't focus my sight, and i couldn't focus my hearing either. everything seemed muffled and distant. i was in pain and still felt sick. i probably sat there for a good 10 minutes or so trying to catch my breath and get cleared up but to no avail. obviously by now i realized i was in trouble and couldn't get down th mountain on my own, so i got the attention of a lifty. he called in some first aid peeps. first thing they did after a couple questions was hit me with oxygen which helped clear up my senses and sickness. i think i just about passed out but fortunately stayed concious. then they strapped me down and sledded me back to the clinic. after checkin me out they were sort of insisting i should have it further examination done by the doctor but i told them that unless my insurance somehow cleared i couldn't do it. it would have costed me hundreds. i laid for another 30 mins or so before they helped me to my feet. the pain was just amazing. they gave me four iboprofen. she wasn't supposed to but she gave em to me anyways cause she was convinced i needed them. there were ride complications too cause we were supposed to meet long ago. finally tracked each other down. got back home. decided not to go to the hospital tonite.
i think i'm fine. its just a piss-off. i'm crippled again for however long. worst case i might have damaged some ligements or chipped the top part of my hip. my pee isn't bloody which is good. if its unbearable in the next day or two i will go. more than anything i'm just curious as to what happened, you know? cause everyone asks, and i got nothin. "i hurt my hip. it was crazy". i'm on a bunch of pain killers. i'm kind of loopy and can't stop giggling (which just hurts it more) so i dunno how i'm doing. we'll see tomorrow.
jim jim
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
you know how i do...or at least now you have a better idea.
some of you may have heard but i bought a Detroit Lions jersey, finally. It's an XL black (alternate) jersey featuring Kevin Smith, this past year's rookie running back. It's exciting and quite overdue. We now have a new head coach who has recently hired an assistant head coach/defensive coordinator. New off. coordinator too. I may not even be around for the draft if i'm out west, and that kills me. i'll find a way to stay on top.
I had been neglecting Randall this semester a bit because of my roommates so after doing laundry late last night him and i went to the prayer cabin to talk. we talked until about 1:30 in the mornin. way overdue. probably end up doing more of that this semester.
snowboarding is getting pretty exciting. there is so much snow here. the other day i tried the following tricks for the first times: frontflip, backflip, misty, and a fs rodeo. after many tries the only one i landed was the frontflip. pretty neat. but i slammed so many times so hard in the process of these all. i rode for 4 and a half hours around the lodge tryin stuff. so that whole time included hiking between runs, and major bails cause of the new tricks. i don't have very good invert air awareness yet. you just huck it and try to make sense of where you are...until you land on your head or something and realize you need more flip and less spin or whatever the case may be. i think i'm like the only person here who doesn't really like riding powder or the peak of the mountain (panoramic). first of all, its almost always a windy white out up there with blistering cold temps. second, i don't know how to ride powder that well yet or maybe i do but i just do it sloppy. you have lean back real far to keep you nose from gettin buried while you ride. this is why i hate it. you have to work SO so hard the whole time. first of all you have all the pressure on your back leg so it gets exhausted, then the snow is all chopped and mounded in areas and you can't see it cause its overcast and snowing much of the time (at least at the top of the mountain. it gets better as you head down). so you're legs are almost cramping but you can't let down your guard because if you do you're 100% edge-catch bound. especially when you're already tired and sore before you even ride. anyways. i'm pretty conscious about my whining so i just try to stay quiet. my ideal day is either in the park, or on more average sized groomed runs (which still almost always have a ton of powder on em) because i like making my own fun. instead of riding stupid hard you have the option of bouncing in and out of trees, hittin jumps, tryin butters/slides, ridin switch, or just mellow riding to rest your legs. i just like the options of doin what i feel like. double blacks that are all powder with messy conditions don't really allow for it. but everyone loves it. and HARDcore tree runs. its just not me. and that's ok. sometimes when we're doin a session as a group i still care what people think. not to the extent that its juvenile, but it helps to push me. when it comes to back country though, i could care less if people think or say that i suck. i honestly don't care on how i'm graded her anymore on that.
push up challenge is now up to 100 per day. it doesn't seem like much, i know, but our muscles are all ripped up. we're tired. so its quite a toll each day.
we had a sleep over last night in our room. we have dance parties almost every night. we finally ordered our glow in the dark stars yesterday too for our room. so they should be here in a few days. i think we got like a thousand! i'll take a picture or something ok? i think the footy pajamas are a no go. they're like 40 bucks min. that's just too much for jams.
Jen is officially coming out to visit me! she booked her flights yesterday and is gunna come check out what i've been up too. it'll be nice to get a visitor. if anyone wants to come hang out just let me know, we could arrange something.
Jon that was a fantastic story about your latest project. haha. by the time you brought everything way out front i just imagine noise at -100 db...no actually i imagine you just mastered it like anything else based on what your standard is for good, cause apparently the dude just wanted to be able to hear everything. glad home church is working out so well.
my business blood is catching up to me. i've become an entrepreneur here at school. actually, its eric and i. i mean, its kind of a joke because its so small scale, but its also pretty fun. what we're doing is we're selling hot dogs and hamburgers at the school down in our dorm. eric has a george forman grill. so we went grocery shopping, got all we needed and then i created a spreadsheet that included our cost, markup, profit, quantity sold, amount invested by us, a current inventory of our goods and a couple other things. its rather functional. i guess cost accounting and excel courses came in handy for something. we call it EJ (edge) Burgers, based off our names. sounds intriguing though. and i mean, they're good! real juicy. we have cheese, sauteed onions, condiments, spices, bbq sauce - and i accounted the price into everything. so when we start cookin some up it just fills the entire basement, and everyone gets hungry. we've made like 12 bucks so far in profit. it's only been a few days though. it's really quite menial, but we enjoy it. we're gunna target the groups of kids that come in on weekends too. you remember when you were in high school on youth trips and mom slipped you a couple twenties...those kids get hungry at night and have some greens. you'd be surprised at how hungry homeboys get at 11pm after a workout session. we picked a good market with an appropriate product. haha.
summer plans still in limbo. waiting for a response to my application for tree planting.
after that rough day of riding on monday that i talked about earlier i layed low all afternoon until the evening when we went and played volleyball at the public school. im really not that good. i used to have some game because of beach volleyball in the summer but this was bad. i think it was because of my aches, or maybe the cruise ships attached to my feet that i call skate shoes. noooottt ideal for jumpin n stuff m k? can't complain about the exercise though.
did i tell you guys about the doll we have in our room? i don't think so. we named her matilda. she appeared one morning because sara gave it to Ian to put in my bed and freak me out. it fell off and i never even saw it that day. but that was like 2 weeks ago and she's still around. its one of those dolls where when its laying down its eyes are closed but then pop open when you put her upright. so we put her in random unsuspecting places in our room or bathroom or shower to sketch each other out. sometimes it'll just get thrown onto someones bed late at night too or something. man its creepy. but then there are other days we just use her as a blowdart target. we have two blowguns. we tried to kill the fox once but failed. he's a crafty one.
i dunno, do you guys want updates on what i'm up too? or are you here for substance? it just feels like i'm hangin out right now tryin to enjoy myself. its not as shallow or reckless as what the sentence might have implied in the summer though. i'm trying to take things a bit more serious this semester but i'm still not thinkin all that much. so i don't have much to offer. i guess maybe i should read more, that would spark opinions and thoughts in me. i can't say whether that will happen for sure because its rather unappealing, but it would be a step. still doin real good though. tryin to stay active, figure out summer plans, and learn to love people. those are sort of the priorities right now.
J.R.
I had been neglecting Randall this semester a bit because of my roommates so after doing laundry late last night him and i went to the prayer cabin to talk. we talked until about 1:30 in the mornin. way overdue. probably end up doing more of that this semester.
snowboarding is getting pretty exciting. there is so much snow here. the other day i tried the following tricks for the first times: frontflip, backflip, misty, and a fs rodeo. after many tries the only one i landed was the frontflip. pretty neat. but i slammed so many times so hard in the process of these all. i rode for 4 and a half hours around the lodge tryin stuff. so that whole time included hiking between runs, and major bails cause of the new tricks. i don't have very good invert air awareness yet. you just huck it and try to make sense of where you are...until you land on your head or something and realize you need more flip and less spin or whatever the case may be. i think i'm like the only person here who doesn't really like riding powder or the peak of the mountain (panoramic). first of all, its almost always a windy white out up there with blistering cold temps. second, i don't know how to ride powder that well yet or maybe i do but i just do it sloppy. you have lean back real far to keep you nose from gettin buried while you ride. this is why i hate it. you have to work SO so hard the whole time. first of all you have all the pressure on your back leg so it gets exhausted, then the snow is all chopped and mounded in areas and you can't see it cause its overcast and snowing much of the time (at least at the top of the mountain. it gets better as you head down). so you're legs are almost cramping but you can't let down your guard because if you do you're 100% edge-catch bound. especially when you're already tired and sore before you even ride. anyways. i'm pretty conscious about my whining so i just try to stay quiet. my ideal day is either in the park, or on more average sized groomed runs (which still almost always have a ton of powder on em) because i like making my own fun. instead of riding stupid hard you have the option of bouncing in and out of trees, hittin jumps, tryin butters/slides, ridin switch, or just mellow riding to rest your legs. i just like the options of doin what i feel like. double blacks that are all powder with messy conditions don't really allow for it. but everyone loves it. and HARDcore tree runs. its just not me. and that's ok. sometimes when we're doin a session as a group i still care what people think. not to the extent that its juvenile, but it helps to push me. when it comes to back country though, i could care less if people think or say that i suck. i honestly don't care on how i'm graded her anymore on that.
push up challenge is now up to 100 per day. it doesn't seem like much, i know, but our muscles are all ripped up. we're tired. so its quite a toll each day.
we had a sleep over last night in our room. we have dance parties almost every night. we finally ordered our glow in the dark stars yesterday too for our room. so they should be here in a few days. i think we got like a thousand! i'll take a picture or something ok? i think the footy pajamas are a no go. they're like 40 bucks min. that's just too much for jams.
Jen is officially coming out to visit me! she booked her flights yesterday and is gunna come check out what i've been up too. it'll be nice to get a visitor. if anyone wants to come hang out just let me know, we could arrange something.
Jon that was a fantastic story about your latest project. haha. by the time you brought everything way out front i just imagine noise at -100 db...no actually i imagine you just mastered it like anything else based on what your standard is for good, cause apparently the dude just wanted to be able to hear everything. glad home church is working out so well.
my business blood is catching up to me. i've become an entrepreneur here at school. actually, its eric and i. i mean, its kind of a joke because its so small scale, but its also pretty fun. what we're doing is we're selling hot dogs and hamburgers at the school down in our dorm. eric has a george forman grill. so we went grocery shopping, got all we needed and then i created a spreadsheet that included our cost, markup, profit, quantity sold, amount invested by us, a current inventory of our goods and a couple other things. its rather functional. i guess cost accounting and excel courses came in handy for something. we call it EJ (edge) Burgers, based off our names. sounds intriguing though. and i mean, they're good! real juicy. we have cheese, sauteed onions, condiments, spices, bbq sauce - and i accounted the price into everything. so when we start cookin some up it just fills the entire basement, and everyone gets hungry. we've made like 12 bucks so far in profit. it's only been a few days though. it's really quite menial, but we enjoy it. we're gunna target the groups of kids that come in on weekends too. you remember when you were in high school on youth trips and mom slipped you a couple twenties...those kids get hungry at night and have some greens. you'd be surprised at how hungry homeboys get at 11pm after a workout session. we picked a good market with an appropriate product. haha.
summer plans still in limbo. waiting for a response to my application for tree planting.
after that rough day of riding on monday that i talked about earlier i layed low all afternoon until the evening when we went and played volleyball at the public school. im really not that good. i used to have some game because of beach volleyball in the summer but this was bad. i think it was because of my aches, or maybe the cruise ships attached to my feet that i call skate shoes. noooottt ideal for jumpin n stuff m k? can't complain about the exercise though.
did i tell you guys about the doll we have in our room? i don't think so. we named her matilda. she appeared one morning because sara gave it to Ian to put in my bed and freak me out. it fell off and i never even saw it that day. but that was like 2 weeks ago and she's still around. its one of those dolls where when its laying down its eyes are closed but then pop open when you put her upright. so we put her in random unsuspecting places in our room or bathroom or shower to sketch each other out. sometimes it'll just get thrown onto someones bed late at night too or something. man its creepy. but then there are other days we just use her as a blowdart target. we have two blowguns. we tried to kill the fox once but failed. he's a crafty one.
i dunno, do you guys want updates on what i'm up too? or are you here for substance? it just feels like i'm hangin out right now tryin to enjoy myself. its not as shallow or reckless as what the sentence might have implied in the summer though. i'm trying to take things a bit more serious this semester but i'm still not thinkin all that much. so i don't have much to offer. i guess maybe i should read more, that would spark opinions and thoughts in me. i can't say whether that will happen for sure because its rather unappealing, but it would be a step. still doin real good though. tryin to stay active, figure out summer plans, and learn to love people. those are sort of the priorities right now.
J.R.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
the trend will probably look like mid week updates. that is when i have more downtime. weekends are so busy with groups coming in and whatever else that i likely won't write much.
i went snowboarding a few days ago. i was nervous about my rib but i decided it wasn't worth it anymore. a little pain is far more worth the experience than just remaining idle. it didn't turn out bad actually. for the most part it stayed in the backdrop but there were a few mellow falls or where i just sat up where it hurt like the dickens. i don't think i permanently irritated more (like the first time i tried riding last week with the injury). i wish i knew what was wrong just so i had a response to people and to know whether my pain is validated by a legit diagnosis of something that would hurt a lot.
i also mentioned i think that we were going to a snowboard video premier last week. the night started out well. i was hyper. we loaded up everyone and went down to denver to watch that snowboard video premier i mentioned. it was amazing. the video was very very good quality. it was made by "nation foundation" and the video was called One Year. a couple of the pros in it were Andy Finch, Kelly Clark, Eric Oulette. they were there for the premier. they gave away a full snowboard setup, and a bunch of other odds and ends. i got a free shirt.
so that was conclusively a good experience. it was after the show ended that my night started going downhill. all of these things (except one, kind of) are menial, but together it affected me harshly enough. first, we come outside to get in the van and Sara is waiting in her lexus for the kids who came up with her to come out. so I'm like, "hey! can i ride back with you?!?!" and she's like yea sure, of course. so me and a few guys hop in. Dan said thats fine but you have to go tell those people that they are now in a van and its leaving. so i go tell them and they run full speed out into the lot to the car. by the time i get to the car they are all sitting in it and have kicked all of us out. so they ride back in the comfort of a lexus, get to watch a snowboard video on the way back, stop for food, and still get back before the vans. it wasn't so much the transport accomidations that annoyed me (cause i had fun in the van) it was more just how childish they were about it...as if they deserved that much more cause they talked about riding back together? stupid i know. ok so i'm a little annoyed at this point, and then my eye which as been acting up all night is now insisting that i not open it. it was so dry and irritated that i couldn't open it very often at all. these new contacts are bogus. so that is irritating me. all day i was planning on coming back and playing hockey afterward cause curfew isn't until 12 but somehow we managed to get home at some point after 11 (even though the movie was done at around 8:30ish) so that was disappointing too. THEN the worst of it. i realize after being on the road for about 15 or 20 minutes that i left my favourite pinstripe blazer and new black scarf in the theater on my seat. i was so pissed. so basically the rest of the night was a social write off. i didn't want to talk to anyone at all. i just went to bed. i was much much better the following morning. all of that stuff in the scheme of today has no bearing. it didn't that night either, but i decided to give myself the benefit of the mood.
i've been playing hockey nearly every single day. often even twice a day. its superb exercise and i love playing. i want to get into a pick up league when i come back or something because i'm getting pretty good. ravencrest (the other torchbearer school in colorado about an hour away) is coming to visit in february, and we always have a competitive hockey game each year. we're gunna slap em around this year i think.
got to watch some football this past weekend. holy upsets eh? i guess pittsburg isn't but the cardinals weren't supposed to make it past round one. i think they're gunna take it all down. yesterday i hung out with Dan most of the day. we went thrift store shopping and talked over coffee and folk music. i really appreciate being here. i'm aware of how much i need to soak it up. its funny though that i play more hockey than i do snowboard. once i'm fully healthy again from my rib injury i think that might even out though.
i've got a seriously pivotal decision to make about this summer. i got a hold of a tree planting foreman this past week. i just need to send him a resume but i think i could get on board. the cost included though is missing a full month of school as well as a really neat outing at the end of the year to moab utah. i've been looking forward to tree planting and that experience, but it would be hard to leave. there is another opportunity i'm interested in pursuing overseas too for the summer. i wouldn't make as much money but it would be a heck of an experience. mom we gotta talk on the phone in the next day or two...i'd like your input.
i don't have any big thoughts today, but they are hangin around not to far from my mind. i'm sure they'll show up soon.
take care.
J.R. Whitfield
i went snowboarding a few days ago. i was nervous about my rib but i decided it wasn't worth it anymore. a little pain is far more worth the experience than just remaining idle. it didn't turn out bad actually. for the most part it stayed in the backdrop but there were a few mellow falls or where i just sat up where it hurt like the dickens. i don't think i permanently irritated more (like the first time i tried riding last week with the injury). i wish i knew what was wrong just so i had a response to people and to know whether my pain is validated by a legit diagnosis of something that would hurt a lot.
i also mentioned i think that we were going to a snowboard video premier last week. the night started out well. i was hyper. we loaded up everyone and went down to denver to watch that snowboard video premier i mentioned. it was amazing. the video was very very good quality. it was made by "nation foundation" and the video was called One Year. a couple of the pros in it were Andy Finch, Kelly Clark, Eric Oulette. they were there for the premier. they gave away a full snowboard setup, and a bunch of other odds and ends. i got a free shirt.
so that was conclusively a good experience. it was after the show ended that my night started going downhill. all of these things (except one, kind of) are menial, but together it affected me harshly enough. first, we come outside to get in the van and Sara is waiting in her lexus for the kids who came up with her to come out. so I'm like, "hey! can i ride back with you?!?!" and she's like yea sure, of course. so me and a few guys hop in. Dan said thats fine but you have to go tell those people that they are now in a van and its leaving. so i go tell them and they run full speed out into the lot to the car. by the time i get to the car they are all sitting in it and have kicked all of us out. so they ride back in the comfort of a lexus, get to watch a snowboard video on the way back, stop for food, and still get back before the vans. it wasn't so much the transport accomidations that annoyed me (cause i had fun in the van) it was more just how childish they were about it...as if they deserved that much more cause they talked about riding back together? stupid i know. ok so i'm a little annoyed at this point, and then my eye which as been acting up all night is now insisting that i not open it. it was so dry and irritated that i couldn't open it very often at all. these new contacts are bogus. so that is irritating me. all day i was planning on coming back and playing hockey afterward cause curfew isn't until 12 but somehow we managed to get home at some point after 11 (even though the movie was done at around 8:30ish) so that was disappointing too. THEN the worst of it. i realize after being on the road for about 15 or 20 minutes that i left my favourite pinstripe blazer and new black scarf in the theater on my seat. i was so pissed. so basically the rest of the night was a social write off. i didn't want to talk to anyone at all. i just went to bed. i was much much better the following morning. all of that stuff in the scheme of today has no bearing. it didn't that night either, but i decided to give myself the benefit of the mood.
i've been playing hockey nearly every single day. often even twice a day. its superb exercise and i love playing. i want to get into a pick up league when i come back or something because i'm getting pretty good. ravencrest (the other torchbearer school in colorado about an hour away) is coming to visit in february, and we always have a competitive hockey game each year. we're gunna slap em around this year i think.
got to watch some football this past weekend. holy upsets eh? i guess pittsburg isn't but the cardinals weren't supposed to make it past round one. i think they're gunna take it all down. yesterday i hung out with Dan most of the day. we went thrift store shopping and talked over coffee and folk music. i really appreciate being here. i'm aware of how much i need to soak it up. its funny though that i play more hockey than i do snowboard. once i'm fully healthy again from my rib injury i think that might even out though.
i've got a seriously pivotal decision to make about this summer. i got a hold of a tree planting foreman this past week. i just need to send him a resume but i think i could get on board. the cost included though is missing a full month of school as well as a really neat outing at the end of the year to moab utah. i've been looking forward to tree planting and that experience, but it would be hard to leave. there is another opportunity i'm interested in pursuing overseas too for the summer. i wouldn't make as much money but it would be a heck of an experience. mom we gotta talk on the phone in the next day or two...i'd like your input.
i don't have any big thoughts today, but they are hangin around not to far from my mind. i'm sure they'll show up soon.
take care.
J.R. Whitfield
Thursday, January 15, 2009
rink rat
i know its been a while because of christmas and getting settled in here so i thought i`d let you guys know this is the third blog I`ve written since i`ve been back in January in case this is the first time you`ve checked back or something.
Salomon was granted one thing by God and he chose wisdom. in the later part of his life he says that wisdom brings great sorrow. you can tell by his words throughout the book of Ecclesiastes that his heart is very heavy. the opposite to that statement validates it - ignorance is bliss. it doesn't mean ignorance is good. it doesn't mean ignorance will make you more safe and always happy, but you will dodge some amount of sorrow through it. i've been weighing the two options for some time wondering what it is i want. i wouldn't go so far as to say i used to be wise, but i certainly used to question and think through things more. i used to try and figure out how to contribute more than simply absorb. i relate so strongly with Salomon because even though there were a lot of good things surrounding my former self, it was immeasurably harder. think of a 15 year old youth kid in the church who just comes one night every week, plays games, goes through the motions, and then hangs out and has fun the rest of the night within that social network. then compare to one of the elders of that church who is dealing with a list of complications and troubles with either the people or the functions of the church. sure we need those people, but how much easier to be that naive little youth kid? he's accountable to so little.
maybe there is a balance. or maybe it just boils down to an individual thing. some people are stronger than others. so i'm still weighing it out. and it isn`t just faith. love is another perfect example for me. there are some real advantages of being single. you don`t have to answer to someone else, you can flirt or play the field however you please, you don`t have to worry about hurting someone near as much, and you can generally just be more selfish. there is a cost related to a committed relationship. you are accountable to them; you have to answer to them. there is fruit though in that commitment that you will never know or have being single. i mean, its the same as parenting or marriage too. setting myself up for any number of these things scares me but they scare me a bit less as time goes by. I`m sorting through more than one of those things, and i feel like the positive response and submission to one might lead to a gateway of the others. i think it will soften me up.
i'm gunna take a picture this weekend once our ice rink is freshly zambonied. its actually quite impressive. there are really effective lights for playing at night too. two guys here play a LOT of hockey. Nate and Coleson (one of the canadians) are real good. i was told today though by a group that besides those two i am easily the next best player here. its weird i skated twice playing pick up games about 2 years ago. before that i think i was probably 13 years old. when i was home at christmas i skated once on a public outdoor rink and thought `wow this is a lot more natural than i thought it might be`. so i was really excited to skate and play when i got back here. i love hockey. not only the sport (and being competent helps) but the intensive cardio it brings about. its hard to jog with all this snow so i`m gunna depend on skating this semester. actually i`m really excited to play goalie too. i haven`t done it here yet but i played once on ice a couple years ago and loved it.
tonite we`re driving to Denver as a group to watch a video premier showing. its a professional snowboard video but all the riders are Christians, so I`m pretty excited about that. somehow my body allows me with manageable pain to play hockey (because of my rib injury) so this afternoon i`m gunna try snowboarding. i`m sick of it holding me back. so unless the pain is intolerable, screw it i`m riding. i still can`t come close to a push up or sit up. those movements especially spark pain, but other things seem to not irritate it as much.
we`re workin through Ephesians now. also a neat book.
my group i`m going with to Mexico is incredible. great leaders too. because there are two separate groups going. the dates i`m gone are march 13th to 23rd. i emailed a tree planting dude today to hopefully get this plan some wheels. hopefully he hits me back with something good.
J.R. Whitfield
Salomon was granted one thing by God and he chose wisdom. in the later part of his life he says that wisdom brings great sorrow. you can tell by his words throughout the book of Ecclesiastes that his heart is very heavy. the opposite to that statement validates it - ignorance is bliss. it doesn't mean ignorance is good. it doesn't mean ignorance will make you more safe and always happy, but you will dodge some amount of sorrow through it. i've been weighing the two options for some time wondering what it is i want. i wouldn't go so far as to say i used to be wise, but i certainly used to question and think through things more. i used to try and figure out how to contribute more than simply absorb. i relate so strongly with Salomon because even though there were a lot of good things surrounding my former self, it was immeasurably harder. think of a 15 year old youth kid in the church who just comes one night every week, plays games, goes through the motions, and then hangs out and has fun the rest of the night within that social network. then compare to one of the elders of that church who is dealing with a list of complications and troubles with either the people or the functions of the church. sure we need those people, but how much easier to be that naive little youth kid? he's accountable to so little.
maybe there is a balance. or maybe it just boils down to an individual thing. some people are stronger than others. so i'm still weighing it out. and it isn`t just faith. love is another perfect example for me. there are some real advantages of being single. you don`t have to answer to someone else, you can flirt or play the field however you please, you don`t have to worry about hurting someone near as much, and you can generally just be more selfish. there is a cost related to a committed relationship. you are accountable to them; you have to answer to them. there is fruit though in that commitment that you will never know or have being single. i mean, its the same as parenting or marriage too. setting myself up for any number of these things scares me but they scare me a bit less as time goes by. I`m sorting through more than one of those things, and i feel like the positive response and submission to one might lead to a gateway of the others. i think it will soften me up.
i'm gunna take a picture this weekend once our ice rink is freshly zambonied. its actually quite impressive. there are really effective lights for playing at night too. two guys here play a LOT of hockey. Nate and Coleson (one of the canadians) are real good. i was told today though by a group that besides those two i am easily the next best player here. its weird i skated twice playing pick up games about 2 years ago. before that i think i was probably 13 years old. when i was home at christmas i skated once on a public outdoor rink and thought `wow this is a lot more natural than i thought it might be`. so i was really excited to skate and play when i got back here. i love hockey. not only the sport (and being competent helps) but the intensive cardio it brings about. its hard to jog with all this snow so i`m gunna depend on skating this semester. actually i`m really excited to play goalie too. i haven`t done it here yet but i played once on ice a couple years ago and loved it.
tonite we`re driving to Denver as a group to watch a video premier showing. its a professional snowboard video but all the riders are Christians, so I`m pretty excited about that. somehow my body allows me with manageable pain to play hockey (because of my rib injury) so this afternoon i`m gunna try snowboarding. i`m sick of it holding me back. so unless the pain is intolerable, screw it i`m riding. i still can`t come close to a push up or sit up. those movements especially spark pain, but other things seem to not irritate it as much.
we`re workin through Ephesians now. also a neat book.
my group i`m going with to Mexico is incredible. great leaders too. because there are two separate groups going. the dates i`m gone are march 13th to 23rd. i emailed a tree planting dude today to hopefully get this plan some wheels. hopefully he hits me back with something good.
J.R. Whitfield
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
something interesting found its way into my thought train today. it has to do with our rewards in heaven. the bible talks first about gold paved roads and mansions waiting for us. it also talks about our rewards in heaven for the choices we make here on earth whether thats treasure or crowns or a number of things it mentions. first, doesn't that align itself with other religeons that promise things in the afterlife that appeal to us? its unfortunate that its still like a marketing scheme like anything else we experience daily where we're being sold on it; where its still a "what's in it for me" attitude even though it seems otherwise because of the religeous veil. even making sacrifices here on earth is STILL driven by "what's in it for me". it's just derived from a different set of priorities i guess. and what about these treasures that are storing up for us? what is their purpose in heaven? am i going to be less excited than you about being there if my mound isn't as big? what if my mansion is only two stories and you've got a skyscraper? i can't imagine that we live in there...its not like we cook or sleep or watch tv. or maybe we do, i don't know. but i just don't understand why we're promised these symbols that are rather earthly. is it to create jelousy or pride? heaven indicates we won't experience that. is it so that i feel remorse for not having lived as fruitfully as you did? i can't see how God would arrange this for that function either. maybe its dumb to even try to make sense of it. we don't understand God's ways right? so we have to have faith. still sort of bothers me.
last night was fun.
we had some snacks and watched some stuff together in our room. afterward we started listening to some dance music which, as you may have guessed, translated into dancing...which then lead to babies. what do you know, the church was right. hah, i don't even know if that was cool. anyways, we danced our pants off either way. in spencers case i'm speaking quite literally. we danced so much i had to apply deoderant before bed due to sweat. i'm guessing the candy and iced cream had something to do with it.
mid dance we had a great idea. stefan has a luchador libre mask. that means like a mexican wrestler mask except, it reminds me more of the alien species in halo or something. so its actually super creepy. he broke it out and showed us a couple nights ago while in his underwear and we were truly frightened. even now, knowing what it is and not being surprised its still terrifying just because of his mannerisms. i can't even explain it but its so creepy. so we decided that i would lead the parade out into our hallway in our dorm with a laptop playin some beats while the rest of our room danced in our underwear. then stefan would follow us and we'd creep a bunch of people out. all went as planned, and then the people in the hall after they settled down told us to go into a room where they were watching a movie cause it'd be super creepy. sounds great! i bust it in there first with spencer all the way into the heart of the room and then i realize...everyone but one person is asleep. my laptop light glistens on their confused and half unconcious faces. my dance slows quickly as it settles in. i bust it out of there. we sort of debreifed in our room about what just went down and concluded we'd arrange for a formal apology the next day.
this morning i had shovelling duty so i had to get up at like 6:45. it was actually pretty amazing because i felt great this morning. i think my exact words of description to my roomates was, "i'ts a christmas miracle!!" 6 hours of sleep on top of already being worn out and i felt fantastic today.
we used to be the room everyone envied but now people are starting to dislike us because we spend so much time together as a room. so tonite we're hosting a poker game in our room - little dorm party to soften the masses.
we had workday this afternoon. right now i'm in class. we're studying ecclesiastes which interests me. i've never read it but i know what its about. its sort of close to home for me. so i'm gunna go and get into this.
last night was fun.
we had some snacks and watched some stuff together in our room. afterward we started listening to some dance music which, as you may have guessed, translated into dancing...which then lead to babies. what do you know, the church was right. hah, i don't even know if that was cool. anyways, we danced our pants off either way. in spencers case i'm speaking quite literally. we danced so much i had to apply deoderant before bed due to sweat. i'm guessing the candy and iced cream had something to do with it.
mid dance we had a great idea. stefan has a luchador libre mask. that means like a mexican wrestler mask except, it reminds me more of the alien species in halo or something. so its actually super creepy. he broke it out and showed us a couple nights ago while in his underwear and we were truly frightened. even now, knowing what it is and not being surprised its still terrifying just because of his mannerisms. i can't even explain it but its so creepy. so we decided that i would lead the parade out into our hallway in our dorm with a laptop playin some beats while the rest of our room danced in our underwear. then stefan would follow us and we'd creep a bunch of people out. all went as planned, and then the people in the hall after they settled down told us to go into a room where they were watching a movie cause it'd be super creepy. sounds great! i bust it in there first with spencer all the way into the heart of the room and then i realize...everyone but one person is asleep. my laptop light glistens on their confused and half unconcious faces. my dance slows quickly as it settles in. i bust it out of there. we sort of debreifed in our room about what just went down and concluded we'd arrange for a formal apology the next day.
this morning i had shovelling duty so i had to get up at like 6:45. it was actually pretty amazing because i felt great this morning. i think my exact words of description to my roomates was, "i'ts a christmas miracle!!" 6 hours of sleep on top of already being worn out and i felt fantastic today.
we used to be the room everyone envied but now people are starting to dislike us because we spend so much time together as a room. so tonite we're hosting a poker game in our room - little dorm party to soften the masses.
we had workday this afternoon. right now i'm in class. we're studying ecclesiastes which interests me. i've never read it but i know what its about. its sort of close to home for me. so i'm gunna go and get into this.
Monday, January 12, 2009
i'm back
'm back, and i'm pretty well settled in.
being home was great. i had a wonderful break but by the end of it i concluded that i was ready to be back in Colorado. i didn't expect to hear that out of my mouth either, trust me. i realized though how quickly i bounced back into routine and many of the habits i had formed by the end of this past summer. its amazing how little things change sometimes when we feel as though they have. i still enjoy my vices i guess but i saw the weight of them more when i was home. i think i began to see an end to that life, that either it would catch up to me or i would catch on to it and make the change. the change i just mentioned gets a bit more complicated because i don't know what that looks like. i still don't think i'm ready to embrace faith as my primary motive for things. not yet. but then what am i looking to do? just don't do bad stuff? treat people good? i dunno. maybe it will lead me back to faith cause maybe that is the answer. i'll figure out a way to be better though. i have too.
i'm still excited about being young. i want to take responsibility for my financial affairs and perhaps some direction for my future. sooner or later i'm gunna slip into my career, but i'm not that eager. in the next year or two i'm sure, but there are still some exciting opportunities i'd love to go after while i still can. more on that as it developes, but i've got an idea or two.
so my trip back here was a bit interesting. got up at like 4:30, made our way to the airport, and then got pulled over at the border but after 10-15 minutes was released with a legit stamp this time. i actually really enjoy travelling alone. you don't have to be looking around constantly for your group or running on someone elses schedule or agenda. you can just do your thing and make sure you're on top of your flight info. get a coffee, grab a mag, people watch, walk around, whatever. everything seems much less stressful. i met up with a few other classmates who were flying out of new york with me back to denver. then in denver i lost my bag. i'm not exactly sure what happened but the dude concluded someone took my bag and would return it soon so they took my info and crap. it arrived the following morning at 2am or something. kind of a nuissance. i've never had that happen to me or a group i've been with before. then i had the priveledge of spending 60 dollars on a shuttle back to school. so between 2 bag checks, food, and shuttle, i spent over a hundred bucks, and 14 hours worth of travel that day.
the following day we spent a couple hours at a staffs house just eating, drinking, and catching up. it was a nice time to socialize without any other agenda. that very afternoon we already had workday. i mean, its kind of understandable because maintanence just had 3 weeks of no help around here, and we had to prepare some things for the group coming in the next night, but people were pretty upset that the day after we get back in we already have a workday. that night we played broomball and then a game of hockey. so broomball you just wear shoes and you use a stick with this plastic tipped thing at the bottom. then its pretty well like hockey. its much more difficult than you think and its funny to watch cause everything looks like its in slow motion. i had two game winning goals. then hockey. i love it. i shouldn't have played cause i was already way overspent physically but i did. that was fun. before that game started though randall fell on his face and got 4 stitches in his chin.
i forgot something else. thursday right before lunch we had a mens class. we usually do some cool stuff for mens class and this was no exception. they took us in our snow gear to a parking lot where there was like a 15-20 foot high drift. it had frozen so it was mostly ice. we were going to play king of the hill. the matchups went by room, and then there was 'dudes with wives' which was just zane and dan. so our room makes it to the finals against dudes with wives. 3 guys in our room are down so i'm wrestling with zane and everything is going well, i was feeling confident. then what seemed innocent enough turned out terrible. zane and i fall over sideways and i land on my exposed ribs on a very stiff mound of ice. i basically went limp and got thrown off. zane didn't realize. i just thought i got the wind knocked out of me or something real bad but it lingered and lingered. jump to current day. when i cough, sneeze, laugh, take a deep breath, bend over/compress my ribs, try to even get up from sitting on the floor, roll over in bed...and on and on...i experience what feels like a spike being driven into my rib just under my armpit. i tried to do a pushup yesterday because our room is doing a real sweet push up challenge and literally shouted as soon as i put the weight on my arms. i think its gotten worse, so i don't know what i've done but it sucks. and there is really no sense in going to the doctor because even if it were cracked or something they can't do anything about it except tell me to stay off it. so that is a huge dampener. i can't snowboard really, i can't play hockey really, and i can't workout.
my new room for this semester is amazing. its Ian, Stefan, Spencer R (dreads), Ryan, and me. the first night back we pulled our matresses off the beds and had a sleepover together on our floor. then yesterday we went shopping together and got all kinds of sweet stuff like hand soap, a bath rug, air fresheners, candy, candles, a dish towel...it was awesome. we have a few other things on the agenda too like glow in the dark stars for our ceiling. we're gunna buy like a thousand and make some gallexys. we're also gunna buy some sweet mountain paintings from the thrift store for our room. there are other items but i'd have ot look at our team shopping list to remember. last night we had another room night where ian baked us these intense cake cookies with icing, and then we watched a movie. we do a lot of room stuff together. its ballin. virtually everyone wants to be in our room.
i'll try to write once or twice a week. when i leave it for too long its hard to remember ad i overlook lots of things. so hopefully i'll improve on my frequency.
good to be back.
and it was good seeing all of you.
being home was great. i had a wonderful break but by the end of it i concluded that i was ready to be back in Colorado. i didn't expect to hear that out of my mouth either, trust me. i realized though how quickly i bounced back into routine and many of the habits i had formed by the end of this past summer. its amazing how little things change sometimes when we feel as though they have. i still enjoy my vices i guess but i saw the weight of them more when i was home. i think i began to see an end to that life, that either it would catch up to me or i would catch on to it and make the change. the change i just mentioned gets a bit more complicated because i don't know what that looks like. i still don't think i'm ready to embrace faith as my primary motive for things. not yet. but then what am i looking to do? just don't do bad stuff? treat people good? i dunno. maybe it will lead me back to faith cause maybe that is the answer. i'll figure out a way to be better though. i have too.
i'm still excited about being young. i want to take responsibility for my financial affairs and perhaps some direction for my future. sooner or later i'm gunna slip into my career, but i'm not that eager. in the next year or two i'm sure, but there are still some exciting opportunities i'd love to go after while i still can. more on that as it developes, but i've got an idea or two.
so my trip back here was a bit interesting. got up at like 4:30, made our way to the airport, and then got pulled over at the border but after 10-15 minutes was released with a legit stamp this time. i actually really enjoy travelling alone. you don't have to be looking around constantly for your group or running on someone elses schedule or agenda. you can just do your thing and make sure you're on top of your flight info. get a coffee, grab a mag, people watch, walk around, whatever. everything seems much less stressful. i met up with a few other classmates who were flying out of new york with me back to denver. then in denver i lost my bag. i'm not exactly sure what happened but the dude concluded someone took my bag and would return it soon so they took my info and crap. it arrived the following morning at 2am or something. kind of a nuissance. i've never had that happen to me or a group i've been with before. then i had the priveledge of spending 60 dollars on a shuttle back to school. so between 2 bag checks, food, and shuttle, i spent over a hundred bucks, and 14 hours worth of travel that day.
the following day we spent a couple hours at a staffs house just eating, drinking, and catching up. it was a nice time to socialize without any other agenda. that very afternoon we already had workday. i mean, its kind of understandable because maintanence just had 3 weeks of no help around here, and we had to prepare some things for the group coming in the next night, but people were pretty upset that the day after we get back in we already have a workday. that night we played broomball and then a game of hockey. so broomball you just wear shoes and you use a stick with this plastic tipped thing at the bottom. then its pretty well like hockey. its much more difficult than you think and its funny to watch cause everything looks like its in slow motion. i had two game winning goals. then hockey. i love it. i shouldn't have played cause i was already way overspent physically but i did. that was fun. before that game started though randall fell on his face and got 4 stitches in his chin.
i forgot something else. thursday right before lunch we had a mens class. we usually do some cool stuff for mens class and this was no exception. they took us in our snow gear to a parking lot where there was like a 15-20 foot high drift. it had frozen so it was mostly ice. we were going to play king of the hill. the matchups went by room, and then there was 'dudes with wives' which was just zane and dan. so our room makes it to the finals against dudes with wives. 3 guys in our room are down so i'm wrestling with zane and everything is going well, i was feeling confident. then what seemed innocent enough turned out terrible. zane and i fall over sideways and i land on my exposed ribs on a very stiff mound of ice. i basically went limp and got thrown off. zane didn't realize. i just thought i got the wind knocked out of me or something real bad but it lingered and lingered. jump to current day. when i cough, sneeze, laugh, take a deep breath, bend over/compress my ribs, try to even get up from sitting on the floor, roll over in bed...and on and on...i experience what feels like a spike being driven into my rib just under my armpit. i tried to do a pushup yesterday because our room is doing a real sweet push up challenge and literally shouted as soon as i put the weight on my arms. i think its gotten worse, so i don't know what i've done but it sucks. and there is really no sense in going to the doctor because even if it were cracked or something they can't do anything about it except tell me to stay off it. so that is a huge dampener. i can't snowboard really, i can't play hockey really, and i can't workout.
my new room for this semester is amazing. its Ian, Stefan, Spencer R (dreads), Ryan, and me. the first night back we pulled our matresses off the beds and had a sleepover together on our floor. then yesterday we went shopping together and got all kinds of sweet stuff like hand soap, a bath rug, air fresheners, candy, candles, a dish towel...it was awesome. we have a few other things on the agenda too like glow in the dark stars for our ceiling. we're gunna buy like a thousand and make some gallexys. we're also gunna buy some sweet mountain paintings from the thrift store for our room. there are other items but i'd have ot look at our team shopping list to remember. last night we had another room night where ian baked us these intense cake cookies with icing, and then we watched a movie. we do a lot of room stuff together. its ballin. virtually everyone wants to be in our room.
i'll try to write once or twice a week. when i leave it for too long its hard to remember ad i overlook lots of things. so hopefully i'll improve on my frequency.
good to be back.
and it was good seeing all of you.
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