this one's kinda long

Near the beginning of the year we played volleyball once a week. Going into it we thought it was going to be a legitamite league with competitive nature which was ultimately exciting. Turns out it was barely pick-up where we ended up playing against one another. Gym volleyball is alright; lets you jump more effectively. It’s no beach volleryball though where you can play in shorts with sunglasses and jump around diving every single rally. If i do end up around home this summer (which is what everything seems to be pointing too) i’m gunna play in the windsor league again. We don’t play volleyball here anymore but we do play basketball once a week now. At first it was painful. I don’t know anything about basketball. Of all the mainstream sports that is easily one of my least played so i don’t know where to run or where to be. Its been 3 or 4 weeks now and i’ve shown drastic improvements. I can shoot better, but i still stay away from it when i can. I’ve learned to use size to my advantage so i play under the net the majority of the time. I’m told i’m very good at grabbin boards (rebounds). I think skateboarding helped me develope pretty good hops. I like being active, and i like expanding my skills and abilities into different things like this. Last night i got elbowed in the face by our 250 pound G.I. Joe cook. Split my lip open and made me dizzy for a good 10 seconds, but there is a lot of adrenaline involved. I didn’t know until a couple weeks ago either that basketball was so exhausting. I’ve got blisters inside of my blisters.

i dunno, i’m sure you’ve heard me rant on this before because its one of those hot topic buttons of mine. I don’t think i have on my blog however, and that topic is vegetarians. As far as i’m aware, i don’t have any vegetarian readers. Even if i did it wouldn’t change what i’m about to say i guess. Alright first we’ve the issue of WHY? Why would you ever be a vegetarian? For those who think that its cruel to kill animals and eat them, i hardly even want to respond to that. Its biblically based that that is the purpose and function of animals. Its absolute non sense to think its cruel in anyway, i’m not even going to elaborate. If those people think they are actually making a difference in the overall productin of meat related products i think thats embarresingly naive. Some people are raised that way because their parents were vegetarians. That makes sense to me. They probably weren’t exposed to meat and therefore never aquired a taste for it, and may have also inheritted their parents ideals about vegetarians. You know what i would relate this too, i’ve talked about it on here before. Thats the same as kids growing up in christian homes. It makes sense for them to aquire the position that they have. So my opinion on that instance? Understandable, but tragic. Another reason might be vegetarians think they are substantially healthier. Its true, eating what vegetarians do is often very healthy but protein and meat products are also very good for you in moderation! So having meat in your diet, but still having good dieting disciplines makes you that much more healthy. Meat is not unhealthy, so therefore vegetarians are not by default MORE healthy. They just eat more greens than the average person, which i agree is good. The problem with vegetarians for me is that they are very strong willed. They have heavily bound opinions and get defensive in most cases if confronted about it. Second, they expect the world to alter and function because of their exceptions. Why?! You’re the exception, so i don’t think you should be cattered too and expect to have a seperate meal made for you. They tend to be very picky too. Its not just a matter of having the absence of meat, its about having something suitable and pleasing for them, at least in much of my experience.

i’ve noticed a trend around here. People are becoming less content. The year is noteably changing and slowing down. We don’t have groups coming in anymore, we have less classes, the mountain is on its last leg but its still snowing, wet, or muddy enough so that you can’t do too much outdoors, so things are simply slowing down. Perhaps its people becoming bored and indifferent with this place and these people too. I’m guilty of that in part, but i’m still very happy. I think its normal at this stage. People i wouldn’t expect though just seem miserable around here and it sucks. The only thing i’m unhappy about is my training. I haven’t been running much due to the mud, and i haven’t been working out because i don’t like it, and because my shoulder is still sore. Everything else though is incredible. I spend too much time on my computer too. Its too easy and satisfying. Snowboarding is done, hockey is done, working out is on hiatus due to health, you can only play so many board games, and i don’t have a car. So its reasonably easy to justify. Its amazing how easy it is to slip into dependancy and complacency with those sorts of habits though, at least for me. I think i have an addictive nature but computer has always been an issue for me.

Randall had to share his testimony today in family group and it reminded me of something. Him and i have talked about it before of course but it simply reminded me. He has A.D.D. and did very poorly in school because of its effects. He had to take medicine (aderal) to control it. Whats interesting about this is i could relate far too well. Ever since i can remember i’ve been antsy, distracted, distinterested (even though i understand the weight and priority that school should provoke), and unable to excel in school. I want to suceed but i can’t retain my concentration in that setting of any sort. My mind races on anything but what is actually going on in class. I think of 100 other things i’d rather be doing, and i can justify my inaction without thinking twice. I simply wonder.......what if medical aid changed that. Randall described what it was like. He said that on the days he took his meds, his friends were always upset cause he was totally non-sociable. He didn’t eat properly. He wouldn’t make eye contact or interact normally, but he could stay on tasks easier than any other course of action. He even enjoyed it. He could do anything and focus if he were on these pills. So what if there were a more mild version of this type of stuff? I’d at least like to try it. I wouldn’t want at all to be dependant on it, but for times when my attention is critical on finishing a task or assignment it would be so nice if it helped. It has bothered me for a very long time, and i’ve thought far more than once that perhaps i actually have a treatable problem. I have the intellectual capacity i just can’t focus it. Maybe i’ll look into it when i come home.


thats it for updates. This is perhaps a poor intellectual tangent i’m about to embark on. One in which i’m sure i have repeated myself.

there is nothing that upsets me more than intolerant christianity. I don’t believe for a second that there is a clear cut answer or formula that devides those who do it right and those who waiver. Clearly some people contradict the bible and therefore lose credit in their stance, and then there are others who do not even attempt at all. But for those who wear the same name above their heads, its amazing how devisive it looks. I’ve got a thought that is a bit relevant. I’m not sure how well i’ll represent that thought but here is trying. I’m going to type a couple of verses from Isiah and then ask a few questions.

Isiah 58:10-11
if you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.

i don’t think this verse is an exception when it implies that we will be taken care of and we will be satisfied if we follow God’s ways, its simply an example. I’d even call that a major undercurrent throughout the bible. Well whats happening in this verse before the part that i quoted is that God’s people were doing all sorts of great works delighting in his presence, seeking his righteousness, finding awareness for the afflicted, and fasting but God calls em out. He says that even in these things they’re motive is ill. Somehow they’re still gettin it wrong even with the good intent and decent attempt at whats right. God corrects them directing them toward serving people who are poor, oppressed, and afflicted. Then if you are getting these things right then God’s promise is to have your back and ceaselessly fill your soul with what it needs. It’s nonsense. I’d argue the best thing we ever have going for us is intent. Sometimes people intend and don’t even try, but when you intend for the best and do what you can to follow through then how can that not be enough? God sent Christ because he knew we wouldn’t follow through, but what if we simply tried in whatever and all we knew of him? HOW is that not enough? These people in the beginning of the chapter were probably doing whatever they knew to be good and pleasing to God but simply fell short of his perfection...no kidding. So now then the promise of soul related abundance. We all know that christ followers do not always feel what they believe. That would be a terribly fickle faith if we operated on emotion alone, but what if you genuinely did not feel God’s presence or leading in your life but you were doing everything that you knew how. You were taking action against your weaknesses, you were investing time into God, and you were trying not to operate under your own strength pleaing for God to fuel your restoration. What if you didn’t feel like a well-watered garden even then? Is that God lying, or is that you just not getting it right? First, i don’t know how God could shoot that down but second, wouldn’t the alternative point toward works? If you weren’t getting it right and didn’t feel that promise fulfilled you would try to become devout to the things God instructed you to do so that you might make the cut. This makes it more like a checklist of deeds to gain his favour. Its kind of a rabbit hole in my mind. To step away from this thought directly but to take a bit more of a broad look at it, where the hell is the line between works and faith? Action and inaction? Our own strength or our own weakness? Intellect or emotion? Where are we safe from his judgement? It seems like if you take things into your own hands, take action, and do whatever is in your capacity people call you out on not including or depending on God. If you stand by praying though and expecting God to let everything fall into place then one of two things happen, either you’re considered lazy and abusive of what God actually promised us, or you run into conflict and division on who has more faith? God is capable of anything, so taking a chance on God showing up by not jumping all over whatever is in our power or grasp on the situation shows faith. Sometimes we wonder why we don’t see miracles like we read in the bible, or like we hear about in third world countries. The concensus is that we simply don’t take the same chances on God that they do. We don’t give him enough room to work out those miracles; we don’t set ourselves up for the miraculous in the same ways, so wouldn’t that mean being more inactive and more faith-filled? Letting God do his thang? I know there is a balance but none of us probably know or understand exactly where it is, and yet we constantly call people out or talk about them and the way their approach is skewed. Man, i can’t stress enough how DIFFERENT people are and how okay that is. I don’t know the answer but i know i’m happy. I know a lot of churched people who “know the answer” but are rather undesirable to be around. I forget, i think a wrote a blog about the day after Spencer Rogers and I gave our testimonies. They were not religeously positive messages but they were insightful, at least mine was. I know because of the questions and comments people had for me days after the fact. This whole thought all leads back and relates to what happened that morning though as people responded and assumed things about who we were or what we were doing when we were working out our salvation. You don’t know. Even if you know a person very well you still do not know the depths of their heart and the things it cries for on restless nights. I was very worked up as a result of those discussions, needless to say. I loved most of it because i’m not afraid to engage anyone in it, but it sure can get me excited beyond my more sensitive moods.

sorry that all felt terribly scattered and non-directional. Its hard to stop when you get me going on that type of thing though.

I rest that thought, and i hope the best on every one of you. Be the best version of yourself that you know how.

J.R. Whitfield