i'm sorry..

I’ve shown a tremendous amount of cynicism in my last few posts and I’d like to address that. I’ve felt bad about it actually because I’ve been very insensitive and perhaps overly agressive. Someone cautiously confronted me about it today and suggested that I sound rather angry and at a loss for tact. I understand. Even though I do what I can to negate blanket statements I still am referring to Christians, and assuming that the dozen or so people reading this blog are all Christians I know why it may be more offensive because it’s something you value a great deal. When I say something like “Christians have no backbone” I am not implying that all of you have no backbone. I love every one of you and do not want to deliberately attack any of you. These are just thoughts I wrestle with through this vehicle called “blogspot”. I am sorry if I’ve offended you. I’m going to comment on a couple other things, and then I’m going to give you the opportunity to speak into this.

You have options regarding how you respond to what I write. You can choose to be thankful that I am allowing you to know me better through this no matter how ugly or controversial my posts may be. By themselves, my words are not weapons and I don’t think they are harmful to you. You will decode what I say to draw conclusions about me and then you will do one of two other things while reading my nonsense. You will get defensive and perhaps even pissed off at me for being as frank as I am, or you will choose to challenge yourself and your beliefs to see if they line up or contradict with what I say. This is what I propose to you. Firstly, do not take me severely literal. Try to almost detach from your first response to my thoughts, give yourself a second to think about it of course, and then look at it for what it is and not who I am. Use it as a tool if you must. To respond the first way I mentioned, I think, might even reveal a degree of spiritual immaturity. If you are secure within your spirit then wrestle with what I say and disprove it in your own heart (or even in an email if you feel like responding to me). Think of times that nullify my claims because of what you’ve experienced, or study the necessary material to discredit my words. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for us to disagree. I just feel like what you do with this raw information is really in your hands, and I’m sorry if I make it a challenge.

So, if you still feel like I’m approaching this poorly in a rather public manner through this blog, then email me. Seriously, I will hear you out. I may respond but I do care about what you guys think.

I’m not as negative as my blogs might imply. I’m actually rather positive but when it comes to these various topics I tend to throw heaters. Aside from these things, my other options to discuss seem rather menial. When I am with you soon at Christmas I will not appear the way I do on here, because I won’t be talking about this stuff that often. But I think it’s valuable for me and perhaps for you that I confront these things on here. I was trying to think of something positive to report on to possibly outweigh the rest of this but I can’t even think of specific things. Everything else is great. People are great, snowboarding is great, music is great, getting in shape is great…life is good. No doubt.

This isn’t the most ideal environment for such immense topics to come to life. I’d much rather do it over coffee or beer with someone sincere so that different lights might be shed respectively, and even more, so that there could be a valid response to these types of things I say. I hope I never imply that what I say is truth because I’m not at all sure that it is! But it very much holds weight in my heart and mind just like many things do with you. I like writing on here, but the one problem is that it’s just an opinion. I’m not a big fan of opinions, and maybe that’s why I hate class so much. Preaching and teaching is often an opinion and aside from unique circumstances you can’t have legitimate discussion about it. Hopefully we’ll drink lots of coffee together when I come home 

that’s all tonite.